


The Carrying Capacity of a Hispano-Suiza

by Siria



Category: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 07:26:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2842952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siria/pseuds/Siria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Surely it isn't so big an inconvenience as all that, Jack dear?" Phryne said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Carrying Capacity of a Hispano-Suiza

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pollitt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pollitt/gifts).



"Surely it isn't so big an inconvenience as all that, Jack dear?" Phryne said. Her tone was as prim as that of any respectable matron from St Kilda, but there was a decided mischievous sparkle in her eyes. How had Jack been so foolish as to think that he could spend a quiet morning at the station catching up on paperwork? A three-week stretch in which no one had been robbed, beaten, or murdered in their own beds had been a welcome change for everyone at the station, but Phryne looked to be developing cabin fever. 

"Miss Fisher," Jack began, struggling to find the words that were both appropriate to the situation and suited to a mixed audience. There was already a little crowd of mid-morning shoppers and errand boys gathered at a safe distance, clearly wondering what could have every copper gathered outside of the station—and a Detective Inspector like Jack in his shirt-sleeves in public, no less. "I'm not sure how this could be seen as anything other than a very large inconvenience."

"Well, he's still just a cub," Phryne pointed out, "and what possible harm can a creature so young and innocent cause?"

From through the firmly closed station door came the muffled sound of a roar, and something heavy toppling over. 

"And with such a fine, upstanding police force looking out for him," Phryne continued, "What harm could possible come to him?" She reached out and patted Jack on the arm as she said so, her hand lingering for a little longer and much higher up his arm than propriety would approve of. Jack fought not to clear his throat. 

"It is a _tiger_ ," he gritted out with what he thought was admirable restraint. He could feel his shirt collar wilting in the mid-morning heat. 

"A small tiger cub!" Phryne said. "Really, I would expect a decorated detective to be far more conscientious about details."

"Well if it's such a small tiger that it will hardly be noticed," Jack said, "why not keep it in your house and let the rest of us go about our day?"

"Oh, don't be silly," Phryne said. "That would distract Mr Butler, and if Mr Butler is distracted, the quality of his cocktails declines shockingly. A mediocre cocktail made by Mr Butler is still better than most, but it's the principle of the thing."

Jack pinched at the bridge of his nose. "How did you even get the blasted animal here in the first place?"

"You would be amazed at what you can fit inside a Hispano-Suiza," Phryne said. A considering look came over her face. "I should probably write the manufacturers a letter congratulating them on the flexibility of their engineering, it really has come in very useful to me on several occasions."

Jack took a moment to consider the flurry of letters that would no doubt be printed in the following day's papers, heaping opprobrium on the police force for not doing enough to stop the blight of aristocratic heiresses speeding around town in the company of wild animals. 

"Nothing that you do amazes me, Miss Fisher—"

"Why Jack, was that a compliment?"

"—but I'm going to have to ask you to remove your tiger from the station—"

"Well, he's not _my_ tiger, but he may well turn out to be a material witness in a fraud case! He's valuable evidence."

"—or I will have no choice but to arrest you on charges of obstructing police business."

"This isn't how I thought you'd first bring up handcuffs," Phryne said mournfully. 

Jack was acutely aware that behind him, several of his best constables were making noises that sounded suspiciously like repressed laughter. "The tiger goes," he said, hoping against hope that that would be the most foolish-sounding thing he'd have to say today. 

"You know, it's almost as if you refuse to participate in the detective spirit," Phryne said, gloved hands on the hips of what was no doubt a ruinously expensive silk dress. How she'd managed to get a tiger cub into her car, out again, and into the building without getting so much as a hair on her outfit surpassed Jack's understanding. "Honestly, it can be so difficult, being the sensible one in this partnership!"

"Yes," Jack said dryly. "That's exactly what it is."


End file.
